A Frenchman, an Englishman and a Russian are talking about marriage.
-I installed in the bedroom recording equipment. I come from a business trip, I listen and learn what the wife,-said the Frenchman.
-And I installed a camera-said the Englishman.-I can always see who comes to my wife.
-That`s what you have spent denzhischi!-Russian exclaimed.-I`m doing a lot easier. I come from a business trip and the first thing to a neighbor. "Why are you cheating husband?"-Ask her menacingly. "It`s something I have to change?-Outraged neighbor.-Here`s your missus! "-And all podrobnenyso tells me: who, when, for how long. So let us drink to women`s solidarity!
Dear women that wife! I wish you to be not only the most important women to your husbands, but also loved. I wish you the courage to be feminine in our time, in spite of everything: Be always attractive to us!
Today is the day of spring and the beautiful, and the sun warmed hot kisses the ground. Charming woman, dressed in their spring green dress and adorned herself with flowering branches. I`m standing at the table, where smiles, wine and flowers sing the joy of life, and I smile. I say to my heart: forget old wounds and revive, as life is reborn each morning. To drain our glasses in the spring, for the joy of fellowship!
I am here, I am with you, and I`m not sorry, it does not tear my heart away. I`ll tell you a secret: the world more beautiful eyes ... no women present. For you!
During the honeymoon, the newlyweds go to a restaurant.
-Honey, you know what I wish?
-Yes, dear, but sometimes a good idea and a snack!
So let us drink to the fact that our dear women always remember: the way to a man`s heart is through his stomach!
One day I was riding in the bus and heard intelligent-looking young man asked the girl:
-What would you think about a charming stranger, if I dared to send you a kiss?
So let us drink to the fact that our women do not get here are complete slackers who shy away from this work!
I look into the eyes of Svetlana and see reproach when ?! I look with a hint of Galina`s eyes and see: I-for! I look with hope to Elena`s eyes and see them in tears of joy: yes!
Ladies, I love you all and remember. For you!
You know, the wife of my good friend during pregnancy was reading the book "Two Captains" and, wow, gave birth to two boys! But the wife of an employee during pregnancy read "The Three Musketeers" and gave birth to three brats.
I propose a toast to those high-risk women who are on the ninth month repeatedly reread "Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves»!
The street is completely naked lady. It stops the elderly woman.
-What did you allow yourself?-She says the lady.
-Nothing special--corresponds to that.-I have a dress!
-Dress?-Asks an elderly woman.
-Dress!-Proudly responsible lady.
-Would you even stroked it!
I propose a toast to our beautiful women! Here they can walk in that dress! And this dress will always be ironed!
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe said: "As a man chosen bride is easy to judge what he is, and he knows whether his worth».
So drink to girls and women, through which men are priceless!
Got one person to the next world. He walked and walked and saw that the people were, the ladder to heaven hang. Asks: "What is it, guys, that paradise is not too tight?" "Why,-answer-everyone has their own ladder and steps on it as much as women love each of us. Well stuck people-who at first to the second, and who did not budge »...
This toast to those who love you!
They say that all men are divided into two categories: those who love plump, and those who hide that loves plump.
We take responsibility that is the third, qualitatively new category. We love our women without exception and, as evidence, ups, standing, for all of you, our dear, filled their glasses.
And when we clink glasses with you, pay attention-even the clink of glasses can not drown out the sound of our hearts excited!
If the girl is afraid of hot embrace, then she-Snow Maiden. If a woman is afraid of spirits, so she-snowman. I propose a toast to the sultry women who are not afraid of hot kisses or passionate nights, nor strong drink, but are only afraid of Santa Clauses. Fortunately, those among us do not. So, for sultry, like the Sahara desert, sweet and dear women!
What is a real woman? One that affidavit does not say how old she is.
Drink to ensure that women of any age would like to be interesting and attractive and, most importantly, had to this time!
A woman must be such as to give her the captured man feel like a winner. Look at ...... name! This happy face is only the winners. I propose a toast to his brilliant victory. Viva and, as they say, victory will be ours. As you know, patriarchy is not blessed the world: war, ecology, ethnic conflicts, and astrologers say that we go to the Aquarian age and matriarchy. Vivat, matriarchy! For women raising a toast!
Any toast, ladies and gentlemen, in addition to the usual forms of the template must be content to live a creative idea, which is food for the mind and joy to the heart. But, unfortunately, there is a tendency edition toast to one phrase-for the he alth-does not fit into the principles of progress based on the replacement of the worst best, less perfect more perfect, and our lovely accomplice, I see, agree with me. I drink to toast interesting for tostoproiznositeley and inspiration are born in our beautiful women! Women-mysterious people they know who they like, but do not know whom they love. Is it possible to enlighten them on this point and say that-me!
The centuries-old experience of living together with women allows us, men, women classified into five types: wife, mother, wife, mistress, wife styazhatelnitsa, wife, lover, wife, career woman. I would like to inform you that my wife has all these five qualities, but I admire her for what she combines them in himself reasonably, so that was all right, and children, and the apartment, and I and the family budget, and her career. Let us drink to my dear wife!
The couple strolling through the Louvre, stopped near the statue of Venus de Milo.
The husband looks at long goddess of beauty and finally says:
-You know, my dear, the goddess is very similar to you ...
-Well, thank God,-responds wife-now realized that I was the boss and I have nothing to wear!
The women we see here, really like Venus.
But unlike her well dressed! For our beauties!
One guy asks another:
-You do not know how best to teach a girl to swim?
-Oh, it`s an art! Initially, hug her right hand on the shoulder, then put the girl on the left waist and slowly slid his hand ...
-Stop! I need to learn how to swim my sister!
-Collision her off the bridge into the water and do not fool my head! So let us drink to the fact that we carefully with respect not only to the female relatives, and to all women!
The unit commander sends a political officer to know what officers say in a tent. Five minutes later he reported:
-About women and about vodka.
An hour later, the commander gives the same task, and the political officer returned and reported:
-Yes, all the same-about women and vodka.
An hour later, the political officer says in surprise:
-And now about the soldiers, military equipment and tactics of warfare!
-Damn, get drunk already!
So let us drink to the fact that men in all conditions primarily thinking about women!
There are women in whom no one ever falls in love, but whom everyone loves; There are women, in which all fall in love, but whom no one likes; There are women who all love, but love only one. Of these three categories of women are happy just past. So let us drink happy women!
If a woman walking down the street with her head held high, it means that she has a man.
If a woman walking down the street and smiles, then she will be a man.
So here`s to a woman who is smiling!
We often do women gifts, and more and more expensive, they cost us. I propose a toast to you, dear women! Be even more expensive for us, and we will sooner or later become the owner of a real treasure!
"The woman-a great word. It purity girl in her dedication girlfriend in her mother`s feat "-wrote N. Nekrasov.
So let us drink to our dear beloved women!
As a young man dreams of sultry women, mysterious stranger, the ladies of the heart, and when married, they think, "Lord, why she does not know how to cook soup?»
One day a man came to God and asked him to create a woman to marry her. God took a little bit of sunlight, moonlight pensive, slender chamois, gentleness of a dove, the beauty of the snow-white swan breeze, ease down, he added talkativeness magpies singing nightingale, torrents of rain, thunder and lightning horrors. All mixed, and the mixture turned from a beautiful woman. God breathed life into it, and gave the man:
-Take and torture!
So let us drink to that perfect blend!
When a woman really falls in love with a man, it ceases to compare it with other men. When a man falls in love with a woman he always makes sure that his beloved best. Let`s drink to the constancy of opinion!
The more attention and gifts we do woman, the more expensive it becomes. Let`s drink to our dear wives!
In judicial practice, there are three formulations verdict: guilty, not guilty, and guilty, but deserves leniency. Of course I`m guilty, I`m late for a fun party, but deserve to be forgiven, because they do not know that there is such a charming woman. I drink a pen alty for charming women and providence, which nevertheless led me here.
Drink to intoxication beautiful women, wine and song!
For that you can raise a glass to the sea? For the sea waves, sun, beach, fun for ease plaguing mad for women adorn our holiday.
It is known that women who looks dispassionately, he prepares a trap for them, who are passionately looks at women, is also preparing a trap for them. What remains to do to women? Surrender. Let`s drink to the capture of beautiful women!
I have heard about a man who remained a bachelor all his life, because he was looking for the perfect woman. When he was 70, someone asked: "Do you travel a lot. From Kabul to Kathmandu, from Kathmandu to Goa, from Goa to Pune-you are looking for. Did you find the perfect woman? "The old man became very sad. He said: "Yes, only once I
Met the perfect woman ».
The questioner said, "And what happened? Why are not you married? »
He became very, very sad. And he said: "What should I do? She was looking for the perfect man ».
So let us drink to those we found, and those who have found us-for our women!
The apostle Peter distributes dead in heaven and hell. Built a hundred women and says:
-Who has ever cheated on her husband, step forward!
-Oh, you wretch! All to hell!-And to the rest.-And deaf, too!
So let us drink to women-all without exception.
A wise man said, "Even the rapid steeds need a whip. And any woman, even the most chaste, need a man. " Sip, our glasses to those who constantly craves men.
In the course of divorce proceedings the judge asked the plaintiff:
-So why did you decide to divorce his wife?
-You see, Judge, the fact that she smokes in bed ...
-Excuse me, but this is not the reason for the divorce!
-The thing is that it uses as an ashtray my ear.
So let us drink to the fact that women, lying in bed, always mindful of the dangers of smoking!
The code of courtly love, there are four stages approach-a staggering praying, obedient, friends. I raise my glass to the fact that all four stages of our girls have allowed us to go in one night and started praying, and obedient to their friends.
Yes, serious toast-is, of course, fine, but they are only for the first three glasses. Then participants feast, particularly, of course, women want something more fun.
"New Russian" came in for one of the Arab countries. Quickly solved all his affairs, and already it`s time to fly it, but take it apart curiosity: what they are, the local women. He seized the moment when there was no Arab men, and raised in one of the women veil. Screamed "new Russian" and immediately drew the veil. When flying in an airplane, all recalled what he saw and repeated: "What a humane nation!»
So let us drink to our charming women and their lovely faces, which we are very nice to look at themselves and who are not ashamed to show foreigners!
She is calling on the radio:
-Today I found a purse with a thousand dollars and a business card in the name of Givi Hohlyadze ... Pass good for him, spiritual song of your choice!
So let us drink to women who know how to be grateful!